A Day in the Life of an Art Museum Phone Operator, in Haiku

Actually By Maia Brown-Jackson

From The Toast

Are you real? Well, yes.

Is it raining outside now?

…I’m in a basement.


The Dali show, from

seven years ago, I missed.

Can I still go now?


Who replaces your

American flags? May I

speak with them? URGENT.


We close at five. If

I arrive at five, when would

I need to leave? Five.


I found a Miro

in my attic. Can you buy

it? Not at all fake.


Picasso found in

gated community yard.

Definitely real.


Dental assistant

calls about tooth art that should

be in the museum.


I want to bring my

mini horse to the museum.

That should be fine, right?

Read the Rest

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About T.H. Gray

T.H. Gray is the self-appointed court jester and Dr. Demento for the history museum field. A lifelong museum professional and reenactor, he is a graduate of the prestigious Peale-Barnum Public History Museum Studies Program. Until 2011, when the AHS hired him away, he was on staff at the Benjamin Dover Memorial Museum & Swimming Pool ("Our History is All Wet!"). He remembers when museums were still about history, science, and art. BTW, all of these posts say they are by T.H. Gray because he can't turn off the byline. Credit, when due, is given. View all posts by T.H. Gray

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